Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Struggle with Doubt

Today I was met with an invitation to provide a copy of my resume in hopes that I might have additional access to opportunities that have shown themselves. It was during a conversation that I was overheard, by wife that I was uncomfortable with the possibility the possible jobs may involve travel. True, through my tenure, I have experienced days and weeks on the road taking their toll physically and spiritually, rendering my current selection process to those careers opportunities allowing for a local corporate/company role. Selfish? In light of the fact I was only seeking non-travel positions, yes maybe. I was thinking more of self preservation. My wife, I believe, took it as a sign of pride. Another character trait I cannot afford at this time.

I previously had written "get over it" but the months are beginning to take a toll on my marriage. I perceived (no spoken words mind you) from this situation today, my understanding and supportive wife displaying signs of doubt. Doubt is probably one of the worst infectious enemies of the soul; Doubt, a status between unbelief and , involves certainty or undistrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, an action, a motive, or a decision ... . Doubt, was attempting to gain access to our relationship and throwing a temporary weight that I felt today. My intent, all along, was to provide the resume but, because I stated a distaste for possible travel, I introduced a character flaw that I am not proud of.

Doubt has a brother despair. I love my wife with all my heart. I love my family, both extended and blood. No man plans for such thoughts to enter his domain but, if they do, both man and family must always remember what Cezar Chavez once said:

My love for wife and family will endure. I will regain new strength from this temporary setback and grow. God looks on those who help themselves, and too throw down the enemy of doubt and despair.

I shall endure.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Faith; Life's Ultimate Ingredient

I sit here this morning knowing that I am entering the 4th quarter as an unemployed worker. This of itself is not extremely upsetting but with the new year approaching quickly and no funds to contribute with family celebration(s) does dampen the spirit. But daily I am reminded how others have faced the economic disaster and struggles heaved onto them I can only think, 'There but for the grace of God, go I'.

A friend, laid off at the same time, has lost his home and is in the middle of divorce. It sounds bad but I know because he was an ex-marine from Desert Storm, nothing could be worse. He has his health, the love of his daughter and faith of America to move forward through to economic recovery.

Faith; belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. Daily I am supported by my inspiring wife, friends and family, that faith will get anyone through any travesty. If we give in to doubt, the stepping stone to despair, we only invite in the conclusion, failure. No one has ever succeeded in life with such an anchor. It's through faith we scale life's walls that are temporarily obscuring our view.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Who's Watching the Lenders?

So this bailout was to have helped whom? Not us. As you have read, I have been out of a job (of 36+ years) for 9 months with only 2 nibbles (I cannot believe that I could work any harder to find work). So during the 1st several months we tried numerous contacts to the known lender M. Stanley to work with us in a pro-active role in obtaining a modified loan. Since they are not part of the Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac bail out, MS feels no need to assist. Basically it "sorry to hear about your crisis but it's not open for discussion" per MS contacts.

What does it take? So whose watching these lenders sit back and suck up homes that foreclose? This is utterly madness. Ultimately this will cost lenders/banking institutions thousands of dollars more should the homes go into foreclosure. Why not take a supportive role in helping households achieve and maintain the "home owner status"? This will drive new customers to them in the long run as the LENDER WHO CARES. This is a WIN/WIN situation for all.

What watch dog is out there for us? Certainly not the government under Obama. He keeps giving away our money to these pompous individuals and leaving the unemployed sinking further into despair (which by the way I refuse to sink to). Someone has to help. There is more of us then them. I have written numerous letters to my Government Representatives and President and will continue to voice my opinion and distaste for actions they have supported.

We need to watch them and when the opportunity arises, take our monies away from them and find those institutions who cater to the citizens.