Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Who Watches Over Your Garden?

I've noticed, over the years, changes that have occurred in the way I view myself. It has become more evident even coming from a family many viewed as the 'Nelson Family'. But as time moved from adolescence to adult it became more apparent that I, like others in the family, whether they want to admit it or recognize it, were dysfunctional in a functioning dysfunctional family.

I am not letting anything out of the bag here. There is evidence in many of the siblings lives pointing to personal choices made based on perceptions we viewed or were subjected to from our parents. Even most recently, how our mother who recently experienced a stroke that has altered her personality (this information is based on many communiqu├ęs received and read from siblings over the last 6 months). Don't get me wrong, I, as with all my siblings love our parents with our whole hearts. They gave more spiritually and emotionally then most parents of our generation but, they also displayed manners that would be questionable if analyzed closely.

Many have seen noticed the subtle changes in our father over the years where he became more open to accepting a demonstrative actions (i.e. kissing on the cheek or hugging and whispering "I love you" in his ear). Mom, on the other hand, has demonstrated complete change in behavior and perception since her stroke earlier this year. Here is what I believe she is experiencing. She is rebelling. She is irritated and confused by how she is feeling, feelings that may have been repressed by a friend/husband that meant good but in his haste to be a provider and 'fix-it man' subjected her to his learned control behavior keeping her from doing things or experiencing things she otherwise would have done without him.

I mention all this because little did we know we were all pretty dysfunctional and some made poor decisions in relationships/marriages. But through love of God, faith, laughter (at our selves) and the insight to share, we are all managing to spring new stringers (the long stems that shoot out from the major stem of a flowering plant) which ultimately can be trimmed producing new leaves and flowers if they are not already. We are the gardeners that have to look to God for his help. Like a good father, our Father (God), knows more then our father. God is the manager of the nursery and assists, not helps, us in tending to our gardens. Given the right tools He helps us in managing the problems we face and most importantly the choices we make.

How will you tend to your garden? What choices will you make? Will you ignore signs that ultimately stagnate growth or will you take time to ask for help, find tools to make your garden grow? Who is your gardener?

1 comment:

  1. Love this blog! What a great analogy. You obviously are a gardener. I love the last line..."Who is my gardener?" Excellent!