Friday, September 18, 2009

Make The Time.

Sometimes during the career search process we forget about ourselves and others that share the unfortunate predicament with us. We forget that we still have responsibility to our self, family and home.

We cannot forget that health, both spiritual and physical, still need to be maintained. That our spouse or significant-other (SO) still has to be acknowledged because its "just not about us". They are a significant contributor to our daily regime of career hunting. They help in maintaining a level-head when our self-esteem gets sidelined infrequently. We too should share how we're feeling and what we're seeing in our search for the elusive livelihood but refrain from being negative. Try, really try, to find the silver lining. I know. It's rough when that telephone just won't ring. But as Nike expressed; JUST DO IT.

Make sure you find time to share with your spouse (SO). Communicate. Lean the conversation to them. Find out how they are feeling. What can you do to help contribute to beyond what you are already doing (ie- wash the car, rake, clean the house)? Share those home activities that you may have taken for granted. I have always been part of the home nucleus house-keeping. I know that its a mundane task but, I share in every aspect from my gloved hands in toilets to on my knees manually scrubbing floors. You still live there. It's just not about you.

The intimate part is difficult because we are so mentally burden the last thing we're thinking about is intimacy. Take breaks through the week and go for a walk with your spouse (SO). Surprise them. Find that period when you know you won't be interrupted and fill the bathtub with soapy bubbles. If the budget can afford it, a glass of wine to sit back and either soak together or give them the time to "just be". Timing is everything. You don't have to answer the phone every time it rings; that's what voicemail is for. Ask a neighbor-friend if they can pick the kids up or take the kids to 'practice'. We have a responsibility to our spouses to show our intimacy which means "you may have to give" even if you're not ready. Focus on their needs. It will comeback around most assuredly.

Find time for yourself too. I just picked up my 5th Recruiter. He was confident to point out that it's only about 15-20% of them that will locate a career for you. The rest is dependent on you networking. So how do I stay physically healthy if I need to network? Meet a friend(s) for a run, bike ride or if you still have the budget, a visit to the gym.
I maintain a weekly schedule for visiting the gym and am lucky enough that some friends and anonymous have paid for my cancelled membership 3 times. I am most blessed by their actions. This has provided me the haven for keeping fit and still networking, reaching out to several friends and acquaintances that have at least asked for my resume to pass along. It seems it's not what you know (although that will be a factor) but who you know.

I didn't specifically mention the children only because ours either no longer live with us or are at college but, that does lead me to the point children still need your attention. If you have young ones, drop your adult side occasionally during the week and be a child with them. Set some time to 'play'. You'll be surprised what energy they can bring to you.

I again woke-up this week feeling assured by my faith, things are getting better. Staying intimate with with my spouse and maintaining healthy body and spirit while ensuring that I respect my own personal needs but not overlooking the needs of others is my daily mantra.

It's in the attitude.

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