Make Something from the Waiting Game

The beginning of the week brought on challenges again. It was as if the job market had closed its doors on all positions I've been looking for; little to no job alerts and little to no career sites postings. I suppose, I could sit and wait for a reaction to the 400+ applications I've registered since April 2009. What's the old saying? Oh yeah, 'Idle hands (mind) are the devils workshop'.

I started taking on-line (eLearning) courses again (already finished 27) through my recruitment agency which offers a plethora of on-line courses to refresh or provide additional knowledge levels for many industries. It really assists on keeping my mind from wandering and wondering what's happening in the job transition world and aids or enhances my already over-qualification for many positions.

Funny, Marie said that I might be over doing it. She said if previous recruiters said I was over-qualified for several positions then, why keep taking these courses? I said, if potential companies turn me down because of over-qualification then, I probably didn't want to work for such a short sighted organization. To turn me down would be like a general contractor who turns down a carpenter because he happens to be an Architect.

2 more courses completed this week.

You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way. ~Marvin Minsky

The Struggle with Doubt

Today I was met with an invitation to provide a copy of my resume in hopes that I might have additional access to opportunities that have shown themselves. It was during a conversation that I was overheard, by wife that I was uncomfortable with the possibility the possible jobs may involve travel. True, through my tenure, I have experienced days and weeks on the road taking their toll physically and spiritually, rendering my current selection process to those careers opportunities allowing for a local corporate/company role. Selfish? In light of the fact I was only seeking non-travel positions, yes maybe. I was thinking more of self preservation. My wife, I believe, took it as a sign of pride. Another character trait I cannot afford at this time.

I previously had written "get over it" but the months are beginning to take a toll on my marriage. I perceived (no spoken words mind you) from this situation today, my understanding and supportive wife displaying signs of doubt. Doubt is probably one of the worst infectious enemies of the soul; Doubt, a status between unbelief and , involves certainty or undistrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, an action, a motive, or a decision ... . Doubt, was attempting to gain access to our relationship and throwing a temporary weight that I felt today. My intent, all along, was to provide the resume but, because I stated a distaste for possible travel, I introduced a character flaw that I am not proud of.

Doubt has a brother despair. I love my wife with all my heart. I love my family, both extended and blood. No man plans for such thoughts to enter his domain but, if they do, both man and family must always remember what Cezar Chavez once said:

“If we draw our strengths from the very despair ( or doubt) in which we have been forced to live, we CAN endure" and will.

My love for wife and family will endure. I will regain new strength from this temporary setback and grow. God looks on those who help themselves, and too throw down the enemy of doubt and despair.

I shall endure.

Faith; Life's Ultimate Ingredient

I sit here this morning knowing that I am entering the 4th quarter as an unemployed worker. This of itself is not extremely upsetting but with the new year approaching quickly and no funds to contribute with family celebration(s) does dampen the spirit. But daily I am reminded how others have faced the economic disaster and struggles heaved onto them I can only think, 'There but for the grace of God, go I'.

A friend, laid off at the same time, has lost his home and is in the middle of divorce. It sounds bad but I know because he was an ex-marine from Desert Storm, nothing could be worse. He has his health, the love of his daughter and faith of America to move forward through to economic recovery.

Faith; belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. Daily I am supported by my inspiring wife, friends and family, that faith will get anyone through any travesty. If we give in to doubt, the stepping stone to despair, we only invite in the conclusion, failure. No one has ever succeeded in life with such an anchor. It's through faith we scale life's walls that are temporarily obscuring our view.

Remember all things are possible for those who believe. Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication.

Who's Watching the Lenders?

So this bailout was to have helped whom? Not us. As you have read, I have been out of a job (of 36+ years) for 9 months with only 2 nibbles (I cannot believe that I could work any harder to find work). So during the 1st several months we tried numerous contacts to the known lender M. Stanley to work with us in a pro-active role in obtaining a modified loan. Since they are not part of the Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac bail out, MS feels no need to assist. Basically it "sorry to hear about your crisis but it's not open for discussion" per MS contacts.

What does it take? So whose watching these lenders sit back and suck up homes that foreclose? This is utterly madness. Ultimately this will cost lenders/banking institutions thousands of dollars more should the homes go into foreclosure. Why not take a supportive role in helping households achieve and maintain the "home owner status"? This will drive new customers to them in the long run as the LENDER WHO CARES. This is a WIN/WIN situation for all.

What watch dog is out there for us? Certainly not the government under Obama. He keeps giving away our money to these pompous individuals and leaving the unemployed sinking further into despair (which by the way I refuse to sink to). Someone has to help. There is more of us then them. I have written numerous letters to my Government Representatives and President and will continue to voice my opinion and distaste for actions they have supported.

We need to watch them and when the opportunity arises, take our monies away from them and find those institutions who cater to the citizens.

Who Watches Over Your Garden?

I've noticed, over the years, changes that have occurred in the way I view myself. It has become more evident even coming from a family many viewed as the 'Nelson Family'. But as time moved from adolescence to adult it became more apparent that I, like others in the family, whether they want to admit it or recognize it, were dysfunctional in a functioning dysfunctional family.

I am not letting anything out of the bag here. There is evidence in many of the siblings lives pointing to personal choices made based on perceptions we viewed or were subjected to from our parents. Even most recently, how our mother who recently experienced a stroke that has altered her personality (this information is based on many communiqués received and read from siblings over the last 6 months). Don't get me wrong, I, as with all my siblings love our parents with our whole hearts. They gave more spiritually and emotionally then most parents of our generation but, they also displayed manners that would be questionable if analyzed closely.

Many have seen noticed the subtle changes in our father over the years where he became more open to accepting a demonstrative actions (i.e. kissing on the cheek or hugging and whispering "I love you" in his ear). Mom, on the other hand, has demonstrated complete change in behavior and perception since her stroke earlier this year. Here is what I believe she is experiencing. She is rebelling. She is irritated and confused by how she is feeling, feelings that may have been repressed by a friend/husband that meant good but in his haste to be a provider and 'fix-it man' subjected her to his learned control behavior keeping her from doing things or experiencing things she otherwise would have done without him.

I mention all this because little did we know we were all pretty dysfunctional and some made poor decisions in relationships/marriages. But through love of God, faith, laughter (at our selves) and the insight to share, we are all managing to spring new stringers (the long stems that shoot out from the major stem of a flowering plant) which ultimately can be trimmed producing new leaves and flowers if they are not already. We are the gardeners that have to look to God for his help. Like a good father, our Father (God), knows more then our father. God is the manager of the nursery and assists, not helps, us in tending to our gardens. Given the right tools He helps us in managing the problems we face and most importantly the choices we make.

How will you tend to your garden? What choices will you make? Will you ignore signs that ultimately stagnate growth or will you take time to ask for help, find tools to make your garden grow? Who is your gardener?

Why the Anxiety?

I just completed my first 3-person interview. Frankly, I was expecting a firing squad of questions. It was about 7 questions. I spent 3 days studying the company profile, memorizing specific company financial statistics and the latest broadcast news. None of this information was ever asked. So why the anxiety?

I continue to receive those email alerts from "those professional job sites" about what you should focus for interviews and frankly, they were about 90 degrees off.

The interviewers asked questions about experience and how I perceive myself professionally. Let's face it, if you don't know yourself by now then, yes, study and re-study by WRITING DOWN things about your previous positions like:

What's your best working quality?

What's your least quality? and how can you improve?

What makes or does not make you a Team Leader?

What was the most challenging part of your last position?

These are questions that you have to qualify without stumbling over yourself and should already reflect many parts the resume. I was comfortable. I had good eye contact with each individual in the group and I did not fidget during the question or answering. So why the anxiety?

My son pointed out, "Dad, own the room when you walk in. Take control. You start off the conversation as soon as possible with the introduction and relaxing cross-table talk until everyone's ready, then pause, and hand it back to them"

It worked. Now it's a waiting game.

Alliance...

...a formal agreement establishing an association or alliance between nations or other groups to achieve a particular aim.

I have to honor myself before others. Why? (Rhetorical). Because, that would say they are more important then me regarding my needs vs. my wants.

I have an associate friend I said I would assist to advance his state-of-the-art internet tool in an effort to get much needed revenue and reference. Remuneration only provided on the actual sale of the product. No base salary relief. That's where I (and another) come in. Problem is, I do not consider myself a salesperson. I do not have the drive to adhere to some principle of getting my foot in a door. I am comfortable with 'soft' attempts where I plant a seed but, if the receiving individual shows no signs of interest, then I'm outta' there. Maybe that's why I wasn't very good at bartering at a garage sales. You either want it or you don't or you're willing to settle for just getting rid of the product. He fortunately has paid into this product dearly and is looking for help in the advancement.

My friend wants to continue to drive me a bit but I am more focused on my career search then his product. Makes sense, right? I'll give when I can and continue to be true to myself.

The alliance is to myself for now.